To 'just be yourself' can seem impossible in a world that wants everyone to be the same. Here are some tips to help you:
1) Lose the negative labels
the moment we are born we're given labels; usually 'girl' or 'boy' is
the first. Then depending on our physical appearance, personality,
behaviour, disabilities or medical conditions, we accumulate more. Some
people who are deemed different or unequal, receive others. Labels can
be positive or negative, and usually we have a mixture of both. If we're
born significantly different (or more unique) society likes to
throw barbed negative ones at us in its quest to make us appear, and
feel, inferior. Some examples of labels are pretty, funny, smart,
naughty, lazy, stupid, ugly, fat.
goes on, these labels, particularly the negative ones, take root in our
minds. If we believe the negative labels are true, they can destroy our
self-worth and self-confidence.
be who you are meant to be, you must identify your negative labels and
purposefully destroy them, replacing them with positive and truthful
2) Do not compare yourself to others.
Something we are very good at doing, particularly on social media, is comparing ourselves to others.
If we rate our worth against others who seemingly are prettier, have
better figures, go on holidays, have nicer homes, hotter cars, more
talented children, the best brands of stuff, and every other way we
compare... we will never be good enough. There will always be someone
we know who can do something better than us, has a better paid job, has
more money, and a seemingly better life. And, If we spend our life
comparing and thinking the grass is greener over in their world, we’ll
never be happy or content, and we’ll never be the person we're meant to
be. We need to realise that people who are sharing all the great things
about their life, are not showing the other side. For example, they
could be massively in financial debt, they may be incredibly lonely,
they may be addicted to drugs or alcohol; things that are not affecting
To be yourself, you need to be either content with where you are in life, or be proactive about changing your situation.
3) Find your talents and passions, and foster them
was put on this earth for a reason. It is the person who finds this
reason who will be happiest. Now the reason will be related to our
talents and passions because why else would we have them? Our passions
are the things that help us get up in the morning (that aren't related
to paying the bills), the pursuits in life that we really enjoy. Now
these interests must be developed, and refined so we can use them
effectively. We should always be learning and striving to be better.
If we asked a class of children what they really like doing, we would
get a variety of answers which is a good thing. It is our uniqueness
which makes us be ourselves.
Use and develop your passions and talents; those things you like. They are what makes you, you.
4) Stay true to yourself
pressure for teenagers is a curse for teenagers as it aims to kill
individuality. As adults there can also be pressure from work
colleagues, or from friends, to do things that we are not comfortable
with doing. It is not always easy to say 'no thanks' to others when we
are invited out or asked to partake in activities that are against our
values. But if our gut feeling tells us it is not right then we need to
be brave and strong enough to say no.
Staying true means being truthful and honest and faithful to what matters to you.
5) Face your fears
can stop us from being ourselves. Apart from the actual source of the
fear, general fear can affect us - we can fear making a fool of
ourselves, of being bullied, or of failing. But if we never face our
fears, we will never grow and experience new things. We may even never
find our destiny - it may be behind the door of our fear. The best way
to face our fear is to expose ourselves to the fear multiple times so it
becomes easier, practice whatever it is and then reward ourselves
for the achievement.
the fears stopping you from being yourself, will enable you to grow and
experience a much richer life. It may even lead you to your destiny!
Gandhi said 'My life is my message'... what message is your life giving?